


A Heavy Shadow

by Octopocalypse



Category: Naruto
Genre: Implied Suicide Attempt, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-06
Updated: 2017-03-06
Packaged: 2018-09-30 01:02:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10149527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Octopocalypse/pseuds/Octopocalypse
Summary: When Shikadai shows up for an unexpected visit he brings all kinds of troubles with him. Choji begins to wonder why his boyfriend never told him he had a child. He thought he knew everything about the man, like the reason for his divorce and the troubled family life he grew up in. But with the arrival of this boy brings a whole new secret to light and Choji wonders how long its been weighing Shikamaru down.Misunderstandings, frustrations and more boil over the edge when the three have to share a space together and Shikamaru finds out that when you find people who really love you, you can trust them even with the most breakable of things, and in turn telling the truth leads him to find forgiveness even in the most stubborn of people.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: I'm not even on Shippuden, let alone Boruto!  
> I developed Shikadai and Shika/Temas relationship through fanart and a bit of reading about them.  
> For the most part this was just an experimentation on what it would be like if Shikamaru and Temari got together in a modern setting, broke up and had a kid.  
> I wanted to write about Choji's interaction with Shikamarus son and mostly have a really fluffy cute fic about two dads?? but then it got... kinda dark and yeah  
> not that I dislike how it turned out haha  
> I honestly have never put so much thought/effort into a fanfic, I really wanted it to be perfect, so please leave a comment of what you liked/disliked I would love to know!

The first time Choji met Shikadai he was worried he had the wrong apartment; but a glance toward the door number confirmed this was the one. His next concern what that his friend had been involved in some strange sci-fi accident that had him reverted back to nine years old.

“Lazy father is still sleeping,” The child said, looking as listless as his voice was. That’s when Choji noticed bright green eyes that certainly didn’t belong to his partner- and wait, did he say Father?!

“Oh, um, I- I didn’t know-” But the boy was gone, the door still hanging open in invitation, so Choji slipped inside, closing it behind himself.

 _Lazy was a bit harsh_ , the intruder thought, as he made his was through the unusually clean flat, Shikamaru did work nights after all. Though it was nearing 3 in the afternoon, the man should be out of bed by now, shouldn’t he?

The hefty man rounded the corner and found the boy laying on the floor of the living room, dropping shapes into a small box. Choji recognized it as one of the frustrating puzzles Shikamaru possessed, something akin to a three dimensional game of tetris. The goal was to fit all the pieces in the 5 sided box without any sticking out.

The boy didn’t look nearly as irritated as Choji got after repeated failed attempts at solving it. But he wasn’t surprised, if this was a child of Shikamaru’s it wouldn’t shock him if he possessed the same intellectual prowess as his father.

The Akimichi sat himself awkwardly on the couch and watched the boy in front of him, both impressed and still a little stunned that this was the offspring of his current boyfriend. Though the kid was dead ringer both appearance wise, and apparently cognitively, it was still hard to believe.

He wondered why Shikamaru had never mentioned having a son. He knew the man had divorced his wife just before moving here, which he found out after inquiring about the ring the Nara constantly wore around his neck. So, assumptively, he guessed; Shikamaru would have amounted it to the fact Choji had never asked about any children.

The thought brought a smirk to his face. Of course, it would be too troublesome for him to bring up on his own. Shikamaru functioned strictly on a “need to know/don’t ask don’t tell” basis. Meaning that, if Choji needed to know something, all he had to do was ask and Shikamaru would divulge willingly. The problem was, you had to know what questions to ask to get the answer you were looking for, and he wondered briefly, what other little secrets lay hidden in his Shika’s shadow.

“So…” Choji started

“Nara Shikadai,” Came the boys preemptive reply.

 _Of course,_ Choji winced when the boy accurately guessed at his question. “A-Akimichi Choji…” He said, fingers folding together, thumbs twiddling nervously as he glanced toward the hall.

“This is my first time staying with Shikamaru-sama.”  Shikadai explained, in a tone similar to one used when speaking to a toddler, and Choji couldn’t help noticing the slight sarcasm at the added _Sama_ to Shikamaru’s name. The kid certainly had attitude, something else he had in common with his father. Though there was a hint of something more- an added sinister bite to the cynicism that wasn’t present in Shikamaru’s own snarky remarks.

“I-Is that so?” Was all he could think to say.

“Mama says he is emotionally unstable ever since he tried to end his life.”

Choji sputtered at that, blinking wildly at the boy, who continued his game as if nothing had even been spoken. The Akimichi was searching his scrambled thoughts for words that could somehow follow such a calmly spoken bit of privacy when a familiar voice interrupted him.

 

“Didn’t anyone tell you not to answer the door for a stranger?” Came the hoarse, sleep burdened voice from his right, and Choji turned to see Shikamaru, leaning against the end of the hallway. He let out a relieved sigh at both the familiar figure, and the fact he hadn’t seemed to notice the worrisome exchange between him and his child.

“You told me to answer for your boyfriend,” Shikadai replied, not even looking up from his game. “I looked through the peek hole. He’s a fat one.” He pointed out impolitely, and the last piece of his puzzle clicked into place. “I’m done now,” He said, holding the toy out just as Shikamaru was about to chastise him for his rudeness.

The older of the two gave the boy a stern look, a silent warning and nodded toward his room.

“Go get the shogi set then if you are so bored.” He grumbled moving to sit next to Choji. Shikadai shot his father an angry scowl before stomping off, mumbling something about this place not even having a television.

“Don’t mind him,” Shikamaru drawled, as long legs spread across the bigger man’s lap, a lazy arm slung over his shoulder, and a chaste kiss pressed to his cheek. Then the yawning man tilted his head back and closed his eyes again. Choji simply shrugged off the insult, just happy to be close to his other half again, and they shared a brief silence before Shikamaru took on the task of speaking again.

“That troublesome woman woke me up at seven am.” He complained. “Who wakes up at seven am? Even poor Shikadai was exhausted, she drove him all the way down from Suna that’s an hour-” He explained, though Choji was aware. “Who wakes a kid up at six am so they can show up unannounced at their father, who they’ve never met,’s apartment and, what? I’m supposed to make up for nine years of bonding?” He sighed, long and hard and Choji reached out the put a gentle, supportive hand on his boyfriend’s thigh.

“He hates me Cho, but I didn’t abandon him!” There was a thunk and the two men looked up to see the scowling boy in front of them again.

“Don’t talk about me like I can’t hear you.” He groused, staring daggers at his father.

“I called that woman,” Shikamaru said defensively, lifting his legs off Choji and placed them on the floor, leaning forward on his knees so he could meet the boy’s glare with earnest eyes. “I wanted to meet you… I called when you were four, six, and on your eighth birthday- September 23rd, it’s one day after mine. She wouldn’t even let me speak to you on the phone to wish you a happy one...” Shikamaru trailed off, Shikadai, though, shifted his gaze to glare at his own feet, refusing to meet the man’s pleading face.

“I’m not unstable.” Shikamaru spat the word like it left a foul taste in his mouth. “I’m not sick. I was sad before but not anymore, I found happiness.” He paused, contemplative, one arm reaching out, slender fingers touching at his child’s chin as he tipped the boys head up, asking for his attention once more. “You are only one of the reasons I am breathing today,”

Just like that the boy was tearing up, huge blobs of liquid began pouring down his cheeks as his face scrunched up with anger and frustration. He smacked lightly at his dads hand, turning swiftly and running for the bedroom.

The two men simply watched, listened as the door slammed, the click of the lock, and cries that became stifled when mouth met pillow. Choji blinked, rattled by what had happened, but swallowed any questions as he turned to Shikamaru who was staring down at scattered Shogi pieces with his own tear stained eyes.

 

Choji found it hard to sleep that night, the curtains of Shikamaru’s room were drawn tight to blot out light from the street lamps, leaving the only source of to a small digital alarm clock, so it wasn’t a lack of darkness. Nor was it the unfamiliar surroundings, Choji had long ago gotten used to the gentle hum of the heater, the soft bang of old pipes, and even the occasional stomping and creaking from tenants above didn’t bother the heavy sleeper. So he amounted it to one of two things; the first being that he had so many things on his mind, and the other might have been the tiny sharp elbow stuck in his gut.

Either way, the large man found himself laying, wide awake and staring at the ceiling, the cracks on which had actually started to become visible as his eyes adjusted to the dark. He was upset at being too far over on his side of the bed; having grown accustomed to having that warm slender figure wrapped around him, legs a tangled mess as fingers found a comfortable place to rest amongst the squishy rolls of his stomach.

He missed soft breaths against his chest, hair that tickled his neck. Not this, being shoved to the edge of the bed and all his blankets being seized by tiny- unforgiving limbs.

Shikamaru struggled to sleep at a decent hour no matter what, but tonight he also found it especially hard. It was the added weight to his mattress, and the things it implied. Most of all, it was the things that were said, and Shikamaru wondered if it was about time he shared with Choji, the reason he’d given up his easy, well paying job for this life. It was troublesome really, but past experiences had showed him the most troublesome of tasks were often the most rewarding, so he swallowed uncertainty and spoke.

“I wasn’t really alive.” That’s what broke the silence. Deadly, depressing confession. “It was weird, living without really being alive.”

Choji was uncomfortable. Wasn’t really sure he wanted to hear this, wasn’t sure he really _cared_ to know. But Shikamaru was offering, and he seemed to need to get it off his chest. So he leant an ear, and a comforting hand from across the bed.

“I always thought I was just unmotivated-” He scoffed, a forced laugh but a firm squeeze to Choji’s hand told him that this was more painful than the other was letting on. “It didn’t feel like much of a choice when I married her… I knew I was unhappy, but my dad didn’t have the best marriage either. I thought it was normal that the other person just made you feel like shit. Like… you just loved them anyway. I thought that’s what love was… being miserable, but staying anyways.”

The sleeping Shikadai sighed between them and silence filled the room once more. Steady breathing coming from one Nara, staggered from the other, and that’s when Choji realized Shikamaru was crying.

He started tracing circles in the other man’s palm, though he wanted desperately to pull him close, hold him tight and let him scream it all out into his chest, Shikadai was already stirring in his sleep and Choji didn’t want to risk waking him.

The boy surprised both men when he uncrossed unconsciously pouting arms and turned over (finally relieving the jab in the Akimichi’s gut). His face pressed into his father's side, who was trembling slightly in his attempt to hush his sobs, an arm coming to curl around his stomach.

Both men lay stiffly, trying not to wake the child, only to be jolted from their deception when he spoke.

“Stupid father.” The boy mumbled without opening his eyes and Shikamaru choked out a laugh. Fingers slipped from Choji’s needy grasp as he curled his arm around the figure now snuggled up to him. The other man tried to follow, rolling onto his side, scooting closer and reaching again, desperate to be there for Shikamaru, when a small foot hit him hard in the shin. He stifled back a whimper just when his boyfriend started to speak again.

“I kept finding myself at this bridge-” Sniffles interrupting him, but there was something calmer in his voice with the child at his side. “Like, I’d walk there without even thinking about it. One night we had a fight… a bad one, I walked out in a rage and sort of blacked out… when I finally came to I was there again. I told myself that there was a reason- that my mind kept taking me there because it was only a matter of time before I jumped.”

Had Choji been Shikamaru, he would have felt a sudden squeeze against his middle as the little boy hugged him tighter. But he was confined to the opposite end of the bed, and thus didn’t.

“I didn’t even know what I was doing but I started climbing the railing. I wasn’t even scared- cars kept rushing passed but nobody stopped. Nobody noticed, nobody cared… If anything it just drove me forward. I kept thinking, if it wasn’t meant to happen, then god or- whatever, _something_ would cause someone to stop, walk by, text me- but nothing…” He choked softly, and he paused, sucking in breaths, the two in his bed waiting quietly, giving him a patient silence he was welcome to fill, if he wanted.

“No one came- I was almost glad- excited, like my whole life was leading up to this very moment. I couldn’t feel the wind, couldn’t hear the cars, even the river- it was so dark everything below me just looked- black… Like I was about to fall into the void and just, stop being. Something about the whole thing made me really relaxed. Made me calm, and I actually… I lifted a foot and made like I was about to step out and- and my brain just snapped…” He was laughing now, filling the night with quiet hysteria.

“Suddenly- suddenly it was just too troublesome. I climbed back over the railing, walked my ass to the hospital and admitted myself. A week later Temari paid me a visit, that’s when she told me she was pregnant… I was gunna be a father…” He was wiping his face dry, his other hand running its fingers through his child’s hair, an unshared smile on both their mouths.

“I decided I had to fix whatever the hell was wrong… so I divorced her, moved my ass out here and started over…” He sighed. “I never wanted to leave you Shikadai… I was under the impression that she’d let me _visit_. But I guess she was still bitter about the break up… not that I can blame her…” He huffed, rolling inward to hug the boy.

The room was quiet and still once more, Choji reaching as much as he could so he could knot his fingers with Shikamaru, his thumb rubbing calming and appreciative circles in his skin.

It was Shikadai who broke the silence this time, surprising them both again.

“She doesn’t say bad things about you...” He murmured so quiet it was barely heard. “She gets mad, and she says she hates you, but mostly she was scared for you… When I asked… when I asked why I couldn’t come see you, she said it was ‘cause you might kill yourself- and… and I might find you, or be left alone-” He paused, and the foot that was holding the Akimichi at bay fell. Slowly Choji moved closer, bringing a hand up to pet Shikamaru’s forehead.

“Choji made her reconsider…” The revelation came as a shock to the men and they both looked down at the child. “She thought that… maybe since you were dating somebody now, maybe you weren’t so sad…” The small Nara leaned away from his dad, a hand reached up to rest on a wet cheek. He shifted onto his back, small fingers cupping Choji’s cheek as well.

“Take good care of my daddy,” And despite the small voice, Choji knew this was a threat, and Shikamaru recognized the tone of voice as one he’d heard on Temari’s lips many times. “Don’t you ever make him cry.”

The Akimichi could manage nothing more than a nod, the boy accepted it and let go of their faces.

“Good. Now go to sleep idiots. It’s past my bedtime.”

The men exchanged glances and smirked before moving closer in together, sandwiching the smartmouth child between them. He grumbled and frowned, shoving at the two, but only half heartedly, and they slept like that. Together, as a family.


End file.
